Twisty's World

Assassin's Creed

2007-12-04T06:10:00.001-08:00

For the few weeks leading up to the release of the much anticipated XBox 360 game “Assassin’s Creed” I began watching the commercials, video clips and release footage. The Gaming industry related websites and e-zines began to sizzle with much praise regarding the new game play ‘technology’ that was put into this game. I wasn’t quite sure when I would get a chance to play but apparently the game name rolled off of my lips enough to get my wife’s attention. We left for Florida (vacation) the night before it’s release for a little over a week but due to the ‘Gods’ favoring me, I had the game in hand by Monday afternoon.

Being at my mother’s and not wanting to waste too much of the precious time that I get with her each year I didn’t get to play it as much as I wanted during the week I was down there but I got to taste the sweet redemption of awesomeness that I think games have been lacking for a long while. Now that I’ve been back for a week and had a chance to play through it I’ve finished it and come to one major conclusion. This is the best damned game I’ve ever played. Ever……

The story is incredible and the graphics leaving nothing wanted. (Careful possible semi-spoilers below)

The story takes place in current time only to throw you into a time long ago in a land far away. A doctor has taken you prisoner and is wanting you to participate (not really optional) in a experiment to pull memories from your DNA. Haven’t really ever seen that story before. You are taken back to your great great great (etc) ancestor’s time as him…. as an… Assassin! The story walks you well through what is needed. I will say, either you need to pay attention to the story or well… you can’t help it. In order to know what to do you have to pay attention but it is well worth it.

You find yourself stripped of rank immediately after breaking 2 of the 3 tenets of the Assassin’s Creed and must earn them back through successful completion of particular tasks detailed and outlined by your master. You eventually work your way back up in rank and skill and finish the tasks at hand only to find….. (well I won’t ruin that for you.)

The world… The world is incredible. There are 4 or 5 major cities (depending what you count) with immeasurable detail. There is the ‘Kingdom’ which is the land between each in which you must accomplish certain tasks as well, but back to the cities.

Each city has an Assassin’s Bureau in which you must converse with the leader there and get mission objectives (detail) and gather information for them. Only after you’ve done enough reconnaissance will he allow you to pursue you final goal. There are side objectives that are not needed but will gain you achievement points for your XBox profile.

The buildings are said to match design and layout of what they were in the original time.You have the ability to climb and manipulate as needed on and around such structures. There are several towers in each part of these large cities in which you must scale and get a view from in order to map out the cities. There are citizens to be saved in order to gain their support when fighting off guards (if needed). There are ‘flags’ of different types in each city and these are unimportant to the storyline but are some of those achievement goals I mentioned above. You can ‘assassinate’ anyone from citizens, guards, to filler characters. Each kill does accomplish something good or bad for or against your goal. Be careful there are penalties.

One of the great things about this game is i isn’t what I consider a ‘one sitting’ game. Even with 5-7 hours of sitting and playing you probably won’t be too close to beating it unless you figure it all out extremely quickly. I took my time and I think I was upwards of 10-12 hours. Maybe more…. Halo 3 which I though was a good game only took me about 6 and a half.

I would like to thank the great minds of Ubi for not only creating a kick ass game but for making it part of a trilogy that we will get sucked into for time to come.

Eventually

2007-10-22T13:12:00.000-07:00

We are moving our offices at work and the project I've been working on for months is slowly coming to an end. Eventually I'll have time to come back. In the meantime.....

-Twisty

Just Kidding...

2007-10-03T07:58:00.001-07:00

no lynch mobs please.

E tu?

2007-09-24T12:05:00.002-07:00

There Are No Do-Overs....

2007-09-24T09:50:00.001-07:00

Unless you're playing Milton Bradley's version.... there are no "Do Overs" in the game of life. I'm sure all of us can admit mistakes and failures in their lives but it seems that some people, like myself, become quite good at it. We don't see it or we don't believe it is too late until.... its too late. I've been doing it for years now, in fact, my entire life has been filled with regrets that I didn't catch on to certain hints or things until I'd run a relationship into the ground.

You spend a couple years being a useless excuse for a husband only to find out that your wife begrudges you in every way imaginable. You try to get better to slip back into a comfort zone of laziness. You argue, try to get better, last longer in your attempt to fail again, and again, and again. Eventually you become better at it only to find out it is never enough. Never enough, not because they are insatiable but because you'll never catch up to what they've been through and you're never going to be able to give them the break they deserve.

You argue. You argue about everything and anything only to have the conversation come back to how lazy and horrible you are as a husband. How miserable they are and that you never are good enough. No matter how much you try you always screw up or 'never do anything'. All in all, it is your fault. You've asked for it, right?

You know that no matter what you do, you'll never be able to take back the time and replace it with happy years. You'll never be able to go back and 'take care' of the person that has taken care of you over the years. Things you never realized were done for you begin to be noticed.... when they are not. Taking things for granted is the failure of all human civilization.... I can see it now. Where do you go from here?

You're in too deep to not care or walk away easily. You'll never be able to make that person happy. Never. Your arguments can be about anything and will always come back to this one topic. You could break and rebuild the world with your words and fingertips and it will never be enough to take away what you've put the other person through. It will never be enough to satisfy their need to be nurtured in the past. People cannot forget the past. Never.

This isn't Nintendo. This isn't Tiger Woods' Golf. If you don't do well the first round, you cannot RESET and start again until you get to the perfect save point. It's real time. It is always going to haunt you. Screw it up and ignore the wrong things in your life and it will haunt you the rest of your days. There will always be that 'What if'. Frankly, I'm tired of 'What if...". If you know you've screwed up for that long and no matter what you say or do now will fix and mend the broken pieces of the other person's emotions and heart then what else is there to do? Watch them suffer? No.... That hurts too much. Taking the blame is step 1 but what about step 2? What other options does one have?

,,..,,..,,..

I Promise!

2007-09-21T06:53:00.001-07:00

Well, it has been awhile, and with my writing mentor calling my house and harassing me to update, sending me emails promising rectal violence.... I think it's time to oblige.

"It's time my friends, to... Just Twist It!" lol, just kidding bro... :)

I'm finding in the news that more and more cities are adopting this new "No baggy pants" law. Again, I'm torn on the issue. I have no problems with baggy pants, but the ass crack or underwear hanging out???? Thats an indecent exposure issue. No one wants to see your skidmarks, pull them up asshole! I do not have a problem with a thong rising out of the back of the pants but I can't say its really attractive if the pants are falling down to reveal it.... just kind of 'skanky', unless you're a stripper, then we pay to see just that. The one problem I have with this law is it is a step towards a violation of rights. It's not big deal with its just 'baggy pants' to must of us but it gives lawmakers momentum to eventually take away something we may possibly like.

The next annoying thing that makes me wante to protest with arms flailing wildly is... *drumroll* Illegal Aliens. Last night while reading the local news I came upon this article. Now Durham is a city of crime as it is and luckily not MY home city but is less than 30-40 minutes away and a sister city to my lovely Raleigh. I understand one point of their not wanting to 'check the status' of certain individuals to not make persons that may be witness to a crime scared to come forward to assist but we have to draw a line somewhere. It is a crime in itself for them to be here. Bleh

I find it very difficult lately to post, I'm involved with one of the largest projects hitting my employer this year and I am at the helm of it. Deadlines are flying by and I have barely enough time to think much less post. Being that 99.99999% of my posting comes from work... it kind of hurts my time frame.

I'll be back....

-Twisty

I'm trying....

2007-08-23T08:06:00.001-07:00

I'm trying to avoid politics but this was funny... slanted... yes... but funny.

Torn

2007-08-14T09:29:00.001-07:00

I am kind of torn over the following issue:

Read this first: (its really short) New Law

I sit here with mixed emotions. I would like to say that I am happy. Happy because 80% of the time the persons (white, black, Hispanic, etc) dressing like this are rude and disrespectful as it fits the lifestyle that goes hand and hand with this 'style'. Eliminating it goes as far as to eliminate the foulness it displays to the public of our society.

However, it is a step towards yet another limit on our basic rights. The right of free speech? Maybe not literal speech but speech comes in different ways. Freedom of _______? You fill in the blanks....

Overall, I'd say it is a step forward but it should put us all on our toes to watch what else could come down the pipe that may not be in 'our' best interest.

Salut!

Twisty

Sorry to offend....

2007-08-02T06:47:00.001-07:00

but sometimes, it's what I do best....

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Doh JBI blocked again...

2007-08-02T06:19:00.001-07:00

Stop being so vulgar Neo! j/k

Quote of the Year

2007-07-31T06:19:00.001-07:00

"Calling an illegal alien an "undocumented immigrant" is like calling a drug dealer an "unlicensed pharmacist"

Damnit!

2007-07-31T06:15:00.001-07:00

Something on JBI in the last 24 hours has made it forbidden to my firewall.... bleh. Censorship!

A Bit On Gun History

2007-07-31T06:12:00.001-07:00

I Thought you might appreciate this . . .

In 1929, the Soviet Union established gun control. From 1929 to 1953, about
20 million dissidents, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.

In 1911, Turkey established gun control. From 1915 to 1917, 1.5 million Armenians, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.

Germany established gun control in 1938 and from 1939 to 1945, a total of 13 million Jews and others who were unable to defend themselves were rounded up and exterminated.

China established gun control in 1935. From 1948 to 1952, 20 million political dissidents, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated

Guatemala established gun control in 1964. From 1964 to 1981, 100,000 Mayan Indians, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.

Uganda established gun control in 1970. From 1971 to 1979, 300,000 Christians, unable to defend themselves, w e re rounded up and exterminated.

Cambodia established gun control in 1956. From 1975 to 1977, one million educated' people, unable to defend themselves, were rounded up and exterminated.

Defenseless people rounded up and exterminated in the 20th Century because of gun control: 56 million.

It has now been 12 months since gun owners in Australia were forced by new law to surrender 640,381 personal firearms to be destroyed by their own government, a program costing Australia taxpayers more than $500 million dollars. The first year results are now in:

List of 7 items:

Australia-wide, homicides are up 3.2 percent

Australia-wide, assaults are up 8.6 percent

Australia-wide, armed robberies are up 44 percent (yes, 44 percent)!

In the state of Victoria alone, homicides with firearms are now up 300 percent. Note that while the law-abiding citizens turned them in, the criminal s did not, and criminals still possess their guns!

While figures over the previous 25 years showed a steady decrease in armed robbery with firearms, this has changed drastically upward in the past 12 months, since criminals now are guaranteed that their prey is unarmed.

There has also been a dramatic increase in break-ins and assaults of the ELDERLY. Australian politicians are at a loss to explain how public safety has decreased, after such monumental effort and expense was expended in successfully ridding Australian society of guns. The Australian experience and the other historical facts above prove it.

You won't see this data on the US evening news, or hear politicians disseminating this information.

Guns in the hands of honest citizens save lives and property and, yes, gun-control laws adversely affect only the law-abiding citizens.
Take note my fellow Americans, before it's too late!

The next time someone talks in favor of gun control, please remind them of this history lesson.

With guns, we are 'citizens'.

Without them, we are 'subjects'.

During WWII the Japanese decided not to invade America because they knew most Americans were ARMED!

If you value your freedom, Please spread this anti-gun control message to all of your friends

MMMMmmmm Beer.....

2007-07-13T13:38:00.001-07:00

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

LOL

2007-07-10T14:11:00.001-07:00

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

On vacation

2007-06-29T14:09:00.001-07:00

Gone till the 10th......

Have fun....

-Twisty

No HNT for me :(

2007-06-29T06:20:00.001-07:00

A while back, a firewall change here at work began its intelligent decision making. Scanning actual sites for key words and such... Well originally when that happened I was banned from Neo's site and now due to some sort of posting... I cannot get to MBI!!!

So... I hope all is well until I can get back over there to check it out when the posts roll off with the offensive verbage.... The weird thing is You can see nasty words all over other sites, must just be in the location of it or something... shrug...

We Won!!

2007-06-28T09:32:00.001-07:00

I am dancing in my seat. Many faxes faxed and here is our outcome.

A Step Away

2007-06-27T11:53:00.001-07:00

(An excerpt from a project going on, on my myspace blog. This is based on semi-reality but on things I cannot really go into at the moment.)

A phone rings... A heart stops. Awaiting the inevitable he mutes the T.V. and places the remote on the coffee table. Another ring and another. He walks slowly to the phone not sure if he wants to know who is on the other line, not sure if he wants to know what the person may ask him or tell him. He continues his slow pace towards the phone with visions of fear flashing in his mind. The phone continues to ring as if in clear spite of his inability to want to answer.

He picks up the receiver and looks at the LCD display to see if modern technology can at least ease his angst. It cannot. A number is listed however the owner of that number is labeled 'Unavailable'. He thinks long and hard about who this number may belong to and why it seems so familiar... Nothing... He asks himself, "Why do answer never come to me when I need them most?".

The rolls his thumb over the buttons and hovers over the 'Talk' button. Does he really want to answer the phone? "It could just be work", he tries to convince himself only to tell himself he'd know the damned number if it was. "But it could still be work related." He gazes out the kitchen window at the neighbor's house. Consistent silence accompanies the incessant ringing. He decides to answer the phone against his true will. Was it not curiousity that killed the cat?

"Hello?" Then the voice speaks to him...

A familiar smell. A familiar smell can bring one back to the present or send one sailing into the past. "Old Spice, I believe it was.", he says to himself trying to remember exactly where he's placing this memory. "Did he wear Old Spice?" His mind wanders further back; back to a hot day and an air conditionless car ride. Laying across the bench seat with his head in a lap. "Aahh thats the smell." The aroma of a deoderant or cologne tainted with a days work and sweat come back to him. He has found himself in a long travel of some sort. His guess is either a 45 minute ride to or from.... or a 12-14 hour ride heading north.

"Why now? Why am I taken here now?", he asks himself, not fully expecting a logical answer. Something has changed in his life recently and a growing number of memories have begun to flood his mind. His heart is breaking and he hides it well. Well, except from himself.

The smells surrounding him currently remind him of a childhood when things were well. 'Well' in a sense of carefree and in a loving environment. A tear almost reaches it's crest in his eye. He remembers his best friend at the time.

"Hello?"

Don't know If I've posted this before but...

2007-06-27T05:44:00.001-07:00

OH HELL YEAH!

Love This Comeback

One of my sons serves in the military. He is still stateside, here in
California. He called me yesterday to let me know how warm and welcoming
people were to him, and his troops, everywhere he goes, telling me how people
shake their hands, and thank them for being willing to serve, and fight, for
not only our own freedoms but so that others may have them also.

But he also told me about an incident in the grocery store he stopped at
yesterday, on his way home from the base. He said that ahead of
several people in front of him stood a woman dressed in a burkha.

He said when she got to the cashier she loudly remarked about the U.S.
flag lapel pin the cashier wore on her smock. The cashier reached up and
touched the pin, and said proudly," Yes, I always wear it and probably
always will."

The woman in the burkha then asked the cashier when she was going to
stop bombing her countrymen, explaining that she was Iraqi.

A gentleman standing behind my son stepped forward, putting his arm
around my son's shoulders, and nodding towards my son, said in a calm
and gentle voice to the Iraqi woman:

"Lady, hundreds of thousands of men and women like this young man have
fought and died so that YOU could stand here, in MY country and accuse a
check-out cashier of bombing YOUR countrymen. It is my belief that had you
been this outspoken in YOUR own country, we wouldn't need to be there today. But,
hey, if you have now learned how to speak out so loudly and clearly, I'll
gladly buy you a ticket and pay your way back to Iraq so you can straighten out
the mess in YOUR country that you are obviously here in MY country to avoid."

Everyone within hearing distance cheered!

IF YOU AGREE ____ Pass this on to all your proud American friends.

I just did.

Break It Down

2007-06-26T09:05:00.001-07:00

Thanks to more genius at Explosm.

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

B00merang!

2007-06-25T14:26:00.001-07:00

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Idiots and Ignorance

2007-06-25T08:50:00.001-07:00

I had not even considered posting anything on this but after reading all of the comments on a news article that turned into a 'racism' fight, I've decided to post this interesting tidbit.

The following is from a 'Black' male.

"When I was doing my graduate work at Oregon State I did a research paper on
saggin’ pants and found out the following: During American slavery, gay white
slave masters would rape their African male slaves, and after the criminal deeds
were consummated, the victims were forced to wear their pants sagging so that
their gay masters could identify them for future pleasures."

In other words, black slaves wearing saggin' pants were said to be announcing that they
were available for their white slave masters. Over time, the style became a
little-talked-about subculture that seeped into general black culture."

Ok, 1) This does NOT look good for 'Whities' but frankly color is of no bounds to me. I see color about as well as I see the atomic makeup in the air I breathe. I use it merely to describe someone as I would 'brown hair, blue eyes, long hair, earring, scar, etc.' and other than that I care not.

2) This makes me laugh because people are so ignorant that they pick up these 'fads' and think they are cool only to be perpetuating an ideal that meant very horrid things of the past. The above is one example. Below is another.

I am about to annoy several people with this but it is the truth. I will also say that although I've never had pierced ears, I do have a bar in my tongue.

Earrings - Biblically (as old as we really get in history) earrings were used to mark slaves. Slaves and concubines were marked with different style piercings in their ears and noses to signify ownership. It served the same purpose as a modern day brand on cattle. Since then it has become an excessive accessory for some. I have no personal issues with them, just thought I'd mention.

Ok, ok... I'll stop there.... for now...

-Twisty

Screw The Man!

2007-06-25T06:28:00.001-07:00

Neo, watch this... After all you went through find a job, you will find this very interesting, especially in our line of work.

Pittsburgh law firm shows how to avoid giving work to qualified American citizens.

Screw them all. FTC needs to disband this entire company. Sink it!

The Pepperoni

2007-06-21T12:32:00.001-07:00

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Cyanide and Happiness

2007-06-21T11:27:00.001-07:00

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net<

A Step Away

2007-06-18T06:37:00.001-07:00

A phone rings... A heart stops. Awaiting the inevitable he mutes the T.V. and places the remote on the coffee table. Another ring and another. He walks slowly to the phone not sure if he wants to know who is on the other line, not sure if he wants to know what the person may ask him or tell him. He continues his slow pace towards the phone with visions of fear flashing in his mind. The phone continues to ring as if in clear spite of his inability to want to answer.

He picks up the receiver and looks at the LCD display to see if modern technology can at least ease his angst. It cannot. A number is listed however the owner of that number is labeled 'Unavailable'. He thinks long and hard about who this number may belong to and why it seems so familiar... Nothing... He asks himself, "Why do answer never come to me when I need them most?".

The rolls his thumb over the buttons and hovers over the 'Talk' button. Does he really want to answer the phone? "It could just be work", he tries to convince himself only to tell himself he'd know the damned number if it was. "But it could still be work related." He gazes out the kitchen window at the neighbor's house. Consistent silence accompanies the incessant ringing. He decides to answer the phone against his true will. Was it not curiousity that killed the cat?

"Hello?" Then the voice speaks to him...

I got this email, and it RINGS True.

2007-06-15T05:37:00.001-07:00

Could Not Be Said Better

Written by a housewife from New Jersey and sounds like it! This is one
pissed off lady.

"Are we fighting a war on terror or aren't we? Was it or was it not started

by Islamic people who brought it to our shores on September 11, 2001?

Were people from all over the world, mostly Americans, not brutally murdered
that day, in downtown Manhattan, across the Potomac from our nation's
capitol and in a field in Pennsylvania? Did nearly three thousand men, women
and children die a horrible, burning or crushing death that day, or didn't they?

And I'm supposed to care that a copy of the Koran was "desecrated" when an
overworked American soldier kicked it or got it wet?...Well, I don't. I
don't care at all.

I'll start caring when Osama bin Laden turns himself in and repents for
incinerating all those innocent people on 9/11.

I'll care about the Koran when the fanatics in the Middle East start caring
about the Holy Bible, the mere possession of which is a crime in Saudi Arabia.

I'll care when these thugs tell the world they are sorry for hacking off
Nick Berg's head while Berg screamed through his gurgling slashed throat.

I'll care when the cowardly so-called "insurgents" in Iraq come out and
fight like men instead of disrespecting their own religion by hiding in mosques.

I'll care when the mindless zealots who blow themselves up in search of
nirvana care about the innocent children within range of their suicide bombs.

I'll care when the American media stops pretending that their First
Amendment liberties are somehow derived from international law instead of
the United States Constitution's Bill of Rights.

In the meantime, when I hear a story about a brave marine roughing up an
Iraqi terrorist to obtain information, know this: I don't care.

When I see a fuzzy photo of a pile of naked Iraqi prisoners who have been
humiliated in what amounts to a college-hazing incident, rest assured: I don't care.

When I see a wounded terrorist get shot in the head when he is told not to
move because he might be booby-trapped, you can take it to the bank: I don't care.

When I hear that a prisoner, who was issued a Koran and a prayer mat, and
fed "special" food that is paid for by my tax dollars, is complaining that
his holy book is being "mishandled," you can absolutely believe in your
heart of hearts: I don't care.

And oh, by the way, I've noticed that sometimes it's spelled "Koran" and
other times "Quran." Well, Jimmy Crack Corn and - you guessed it - I don't care ! ! ! ! !

If you agree with this viewpoint, pass this on to all your e-mail friends.
Sooner or later, it'll get to the people responsible for this ridiculous behavior!

If you don't agree, then by all means hit the delete button. Should you
choose the latter, then please don't complain when more atrocities committed
by radical Muslims happen here in our great country! And may I add:
"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference
in the world. But, the Marines don't have that problem." -- Ronald Reagan

I have another quote that I would like to add AND.......I hope you forward
all this.

"If we ever forget that we're One Nation Under God, then we will be a
nation gone under." Also by.. Ronald Reagan

One last thought for the day:

In case we find ourselves starting to believe all the anti-American
sentiment and negativity, we should remember England's Prime Minister Tony
Blair's words during a recent interview. When asked by one of his
Parliament members why he believes so much in America, he said:"A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in... And how many want out."

Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you:
1. Jesus Christ
2. The American G. I.

One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.

Hey! I like this guy...

2007-06-14T06:05:00.001-07:00

Can't "bust a sag" here, mister!

Illegal of the Week

2007-06-11T14:20:00.001-07:00

Geez, these are just in my neck of the woods alone... Alcohol, cars, and stupidity. Doroteo Calles Hernandez, here illegally, decided to draw attention to himself by speeding down a street drunk, and when someone yelled for him to slow down, he turned around and run him down, tried to flee, hit a tree and left a long train of fluids leading to his apartment.

Retard of the week fits as well.

Doroteo Calles Hernandez

Full Story: linked above.

-Twisty

Powered by ScribeFire.

Hell just froze over!

2007-06-07T11:18:00.001-07:00

I actually agree with Al Sharpton on something! It will probably be the last, and of course he had to put a racial 'spin' on it instead of just fighting for the 'little man' in general but I've got chills of anger now.

How can that two bit, spoiled rotten snot, slutty slut slut get away with 3 days of a sentence when she got leniency to begin with. She was only serving a partial term anyways for good behavior. This just goes to show that if you're rich you pay no penalty. Neither you or I could get any leniency in this case no matter how 'distraught' we were or if we refused to eat much of the jail food. What bullshit!

Al Sharpton agreeing with Twisty.

Jealousy

2007-06-07T10:37:00.001-07:00

My dearest Soulmate: Don't you love her hawtness?

Traces

2007-06-07T06:03:00.001-07:00

Incredible...

An on going 'saga' I've been reading for a little while now over at JBI, today had a quote that I just cannot shake. "I am the bookmark of what you can't find." That quote will stick with me for a while. It is deep somehow.

Check it out for  yourself.

Traces II III IV V VI VII VIII IX X XI XII

Usually with my stories I would have had to stop pretty soon. I'd run out of Roman numerals after 18. (smirk)

-Twisty

Really... !!!

2007-06-06T13:21:00.001-07:00

New Immigrants

From: "David LaBonte"

My wife, Rosemary, wrote a wonderful letter to the editor of the OC Register which, of course, was not printed. So, I decided to "print" it myself by sending it out on the Internet.

Pass it along if you feel so inclined.

(signed) Dave LaBonte

Written in response to a series of letters to the editor in the Orange County Register:

Dear Editor:

So many letter writers have based their arguments on how this land is made up of immigrants. Ernie Lujan for one, suggests we should tear down the Statue of Liberty because the people now in question aren't being treated the same as those who passed through Ellis Island and other ports of entry.

Maybe we should turn to our history books and point out to people like Mr. Lujan why today's American is not willing to accept this new kind of immigrant any longer. Back in 1900 when there was a rush from all areas of Europe to come to the United States, people had to get off a ship and stand in a long line in New York and be documented. Some would even get down on their hands and knees and kiss the ground. They made a pledge to uphold the laws and support their new country in good and bad times. They made learning English a primary rule in their new American households and some even changed their names to blend in with their new home.

They had waved good bye to their birth place to give their children a new life and did everything in their power to help their children assimilate into one culture.

Nothing was handed to them. No free lunches, no welfare, no labor laws to protect them. All they had were the skills and craftsmanship they had brought with them to trade for a future of prosperity. Most of their children came of age when World War II broke out. My father fought along side men whose parents had come straight over from Germany , Italy , France and Japan . None of these 1st generation Americans ever gave any thought about what country their parents had come from. They were Americans fighting Hitler, Mussolini and the Emperor of Japan . They were defending the United States of America as one people. When we liberated France , no one in those villages were looking for the French-American or the German American or the Irish American. The people of France saw only Americans. And we carried one flag that represented one country. Not one of those immigrant sons would have thought about picking up another country's flag and waving it to represent who they were. It would have been a disgrace to their parents who had sacrificed so much to be here. These immigrants truly knew what it meant to be an American. They stirred the melting pot into one red, white and blue bowl.

And here we are in 2007 with a new kind of immigrant who wants the same rights and privileges Only they want to achieve it by playing with a different set of rules, one that includes the entitlement card and a guarantee of being faithful to their mother country. I'm sorry, that's not what being an American is all about I believe that the immigrants who landed on Ellis Island in the early 1900's deserve better than that for all the toil, hard work and sacrifice in raising future generations to create a land that has become a beacon for those legally searching for a better life. I think they would be appalled that they are being used as an example by those waving foreign country flags.

And for that suggestion about taking down the Statue of Liberty , it happens to mean a lot to the citizens who are voting on the immigration bill. I wouldn't start talking about dismantling the United States just yet.

(signed) Rosemary LaBonte

Illegal of the Week

2007-06-05T13:49:00.001-07:00

Illegally come to my country....

Illegally drive under the influence of an ILLEGAL amount of alcohol...

Illegally take a vehicle....

Kill someone or multiple persons based on your need to break all of these laws.

Death penalty as far as I'm concerned.

I know the panty wastes in this State/Country would never do that but... oh well. I'm sorry for all of the lives lost across this country by our governmental inadequacies in keeping people out of our country and the refusal to get rid of them once they are found.

Michael Caldera De Latorre

Yeah, Because they arent causing trouble....

2007-06-01T05:58:00.001-07:00

59 illegal immigrants found after shooting, assaults..

Wake up and smell the feces America. If we don't vote (VOTE) to do something NOW, it'll be too late.

-Twisty

To Which I Will Rant....

2007-05-30T06:04:00.001-07:00

I heard on the news this morning... that one of the Duke LaX players recently found NOT guilty and charges dismissed was enrolled at another less attractive school and playing for their team. I am not a Duke fan in the tiniest bit but I will say this... (do not read on if you are easily offended)

That stupid whore ruined these boys lives. Looking for a free way out of life? These boys are from wealthy families no doubt but trying to get a free ride on a half cocked... or even a full cocked bullshit charge of rape only to be found later that you're a nasty skanky lying slutty whore is just wrong. You are free to be the skank but why take down 3 or 4 guys with you? She needs to spend about 10 years in prison.

These boys will eventually get decent/good jobs and move on but will NEVER be able to rise above the stigma put on them by not only a rape charge but NATIONAL exposure. People don't pay attention to the fact that the cunt had more semen in her from guys not even mentioned and NO evidence of these guys. Or that she decided to come clean when she knew she'd been beaten by a good lawyer. They will only see that these guys 'got off' like O.J. and not relative to whether they were even guilty or not.

Whore.

Now at least this 1 boy cannot even go back to Duke a very prestigious school for whatever reason.

Bitch.

You need to rot in jail....

You wasted news time, my time, everyone's time, and these boys entire lives are ruined.

Die in a Fire...

skanky skankity skank skank skank!

-TwistedPain

Noodles

2007-05-23T10:32:00.001-07:00

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Ducks

2007-05-23T07:37:00.001-07:00

I'm not really having a good day at all, life is blowing up on me at home and I'm feeling serious pain in that area but here goes...

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Three women die together in an accident
and go to heaven.

When they get there, St. Peter says,
"We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!"

So they enter heaven, and sure enough,
there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on
a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman
accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest
man she ever saw.

St. Peter chains them together and
says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained
to this ugly man!"

The next day, the second woman steps
accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a
thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them
together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this
and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY
careful where she steps.

She manages to go months without
stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most
handsome man she has ever laid eyes on ... very tall, long eyelashes, muscular,
and thin.

St. Peter chains them together without
saying a word.

The happy woman says, "I wonder
what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"

The guy says, "I don't know about
you, but I stepped on a duck!

Much Ado....

2007-05-22T12:19:00.001-07:00

I don't know these days. I mean so much going on and nowhere to get answers. The subject came up the other day and I begin to wonder if it is so wrong that I want something in particular. This one thing in particular is my own place. For anyone that stumbles here and says "Why, no everyone should get their own place!" Let me catch you up with this... I am married, not living with mom and pops. Now again I ask, "Is it wrong?"

The statement means nothing ill towards the wife. We have our issues and all but this is 100% about me, even in a perfect marriage.

I like privacy, more than one would be granted when living with someone with just a 'roommate'. I like silence, other than the sounds of the computer, TV, stereo, or dog's. I don't like being questioned where am I going or what am I doing every time I walk through the house. Dammit it drives me nuts! I'm not leaving, if I were to be 'going out' I'd friggen tell you already. Why do you need to know when I need to go take a leak or check something on the laptop.

It comes with people not trusting you, with people being severely insecure, people being lonely, people being clingy, or people being downright nosy which is the one that drives me most batty.

I want to be lazy. I want to be able to come home, change clothes, eat some chow, log on to WoW, play XBox, go for a walk, watch TV without people bitching about needing to do this or that, or have to complain to me for 30 minutes about stuff that I know nothing about.

I don't mind hearing people rant if they need to but Jeebus!

So, again, is it so wrong to want my own place? I'm not asking to be single in order to go date others, or party or anything its quite the opposite. It's to be ALONE!

-Twisty

Political Correctness

2007-05-07T10:50:00.001-07:00

"Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical liberal minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."

Bravo For Him

2007-05-03T06:35:00.001-07:00

I get so sick and tired of the people of this country taking everything for granted and putting the almighty dollar first instead of the core values every American should have. This is simple people.... simple. Bravo man, bravo company, Eat my ass coliseum management!

I'm not sure how widespread this franchise or business spreads but if it's in your area, please support them. This one is in Fayetteville, NC.

Read here.

-Twisty

Lovely

2007-05-02T12:58:00.001-07:00

Illegal of the Week

2007-05-01T07:12:00.001-07:00

This week's IotW is Luciano Melendres, an illegal immigrant already arrested once for DWI/DUI and released. (WHY!?!?!) He later hit a pedestrian and killed them then fled the scene. The story can be read in more detail here.

Now below his article is a list of numerous situations just like his, that is your bonus this week for me not having time to do an IotW article last week.

-Twisty

Funny isnt it?

2007-04-27T10:28:00.001-07:00

HARSH YOU SAY?

1. There will be no special bilingual programs in the schools, no special

ballots for elections, and all government business will be conducted in our

language.

2. Foreigners will NOT have the right to vote, no matter how long they are
here.

3. Foreigners will NEVER be able to hold political office.

4. Foreigners will not be a burden to the taxpayers. No welfare, no food
stamps,

no health care, nor any other government assistance programs.

5. Foreigners can invest in this country, but it must be an amount equal to

40,000 times the daily minimum wage.

6. If foreigners do come and want to buy land that will be ok, BUT options

will be restricted. You are not allowed to own waterfront property. That

property is reserved for citizens naturally born into this country.

7. Foreigners may not protest; no demonstrations, no waving a foreign flag, no

political organizing, no "bad-mouthing" our president or his
policies. If you

do you will be sent home.

8. If you do come to this country illegally, you will be hunted down and sent

straight to jail.

Harsh, you say? The above laws happen to be the immigration laws of
"MEXICO!"

No Smoking

2007-04-27T07:13:00.001-07:00

If you've worked tech support you've seen days like this:

Technician: Hello. How can I help you today?

Customer: There's smoke coming from the power supply on my computer...

Technician: Looks like you need a new power supply...

Customer: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files...

Technician: Sir, what you described is a faulty power supply. You need to replace it...

Customer:
No way! Someone told me that I just had to change the system startup
files to fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the right
command...

For the next ten minutes, in spite of the
technician's efforts to explain the problem and its solution, the
customer adamantly insisted that he was right. So, in frustration, the
technician responded...

Technician: I'm sorry. We don't normally
tell our customers this, but there's an undocumented DOS command that
will fix the problem...

Customer: I knew it!

Technician:
Just add the line 'LOAD NOSMOKE.COM' at the end of the CONFIG.SYS file
and everything should work fine. Let me know how it goes...

About ten minutes later, the technician received a call back from the customer...

Customer: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking...

Technician: Well, what version of DOS are you using?

Customer:
MS-DOS 6.22... Technician: Well, that's your problem. That version of
DOS doesn't include NOSMOKE. You'll need to contact Microsoft and ask
them for a patch. Let me know how it all works out...

When nearly an hour had passed, the phone rang again...

Customer: I need a new power supply...

Technician: How did you come to that conclusion?

Customer:
Well, I called Microsoft and told the technician what you said, and he
started asking me questions about the make of the power supply...

Technician: What did he tell you?

Customer: He said my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE...

Ok, Now Oakland.

2007-04-26T07:01:00.001-07:00

I've picked up my 'pen' instead of my sword and I march with my country in order to protect the rights that we have that we are slowly losing. This fight will long and dirty but I am here.

Oakland is now in my cross hairs. Please read why.

This country needs to not turn a deaf ear to this. Ignorance is too broad and not enough people know of the war that is hitting our streets NOW much less the bigger ones that are coming.

Other companies that are in my cross hairs and DNS (Do not support) list are:

Home Depot (why)

Bank of America (why)

Wells Fargo (Sad because I actually like them, but now will be sacrificing decent loan rates because my accounts will be closed when paid off and not re-opened)

I vow not to turn this place into a political battleground but this isnt political to me, this is us losing a battle and no one in the government wants to help. Money talks, or lack thereof so boycotts can make a difference.

Please help, and take the time to read.

-Twisty

StumbleUponable

2007-04-24T12:28:00.000-07:00

I'm not Digg'able but I am StumbleUponable: For those of you using Firefox, you may have seen it. It is a kick ass program that lets you pick different categories that you like then click 'Stumble' and it will randomly 'stumble' to a page that a user has defined as 'cool' and based on your chosen categories.

Our Borders Are Becoming A Laugh

2007-04-24T06:57:00.001-07:00

Ok, although some think I may be all about senseless acts of random violence... I'm not. However, I AM for capital punishment and all this liberal whining and this 'sue-happy' nation is crushing everything we are and stand for. Take the following article for example.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070424/ap_on_re_us/border_patrol_shooting_2

I am not sure whether or not A or B was right or wrong. What I DO know is (A) was breaking a law, breaking into our country and not doing 1 single legal thing. Just like if as if (A) was breaking into my house. I'd get sued for protecting myself or my property. There are numerous cases right now before the courts where border agents, doing their jobs have shot at, injured or killed ILLEGAL aliens resisting arrest... (not just running but resisting) Some have even shot back or lured our agents on high speed chases (with trucks full of drugs) and who gets in trouble? Our border POLICE. Pretty soon two things WILL happen. 1) Our agents just like a lot of our police officers are going to be afraid to do their jobs in fear of being sued or sent to prison and 2) The Mexicans that do not want to become LEGAL citizens will be laughing at our security knowing they can get away with whatever they want. Which one of those sounds good for us? Neither? Oh my, maybe you do agree...

There is already one agent in prison for shooting at an illegal that led them on a high speed chase (carrying a LOT of illegal drugs), was carrying something that seemed 'gun-like' and shot at the suspect leaving an injury not death. He was sued, fired, arrested, and hung out to dry by our government. Hell in a handbasket is all I'm saying people....

Sigh, Now I'm too worked up to even type.

-Twisty

Yes I Am

2007-04-23T12:03:00.001-07:00

Just Mind Blowing...

2007-04-23T07:57:00.000-07:00

For some reason this weekend I thought of doing something for someone. I am not sure what even made me think of it but I had mind to do it. The something I wanted to do is maybe design a new head banner for a friends blog, and with that said I forgot about it. (Scatter brained me.) When I arrived at work this morning and went through my daily routine for the day of catching up on a few readings (MBI, JBI, Drudge... etc.) I noticed that this person had already changed theirs.

It reminded me to do it, yet leave them the total option of whether or not they actually even wanted to use it. I couldn't think of what I wanted to use, then it hit me. Use the picture that I love so much. So heres to you Jen.

Take it and make it all yours if you wish.

-Twisty

tVTm

2007-04-17T06:36:00.001-07:00

My heart and prayers go out to the families and friends of all those affected by the foreign student that decided he got to be judge, jury, and executioner of his own fate and the fates of others. I quarrel with my girlfriend/wife and always have with any of them and although I've though some evil thoughts this is a bit extreme.

Friends this is another case of someone biting the hand that feeds you. The killer is so far known to be an alien from the Asian area here on a VISA in order to learn. He gets into a fight with his girlfriend and voila! Also another case of someone being blinded by the pooty.

(edit) He was not here on a VISA but rather had become a permanent citizen. Still chomping on the fingers if you get my drift.

-Twisty

Sometimes you just gotta take chances.

2007-04-16T07:33:00.001-07:00

Couldn't have said it better Pat.

2007-04-13T08:45:00.001-07:00

Please Read This.

Illegal of the Week

2007-04-12T11:31:00.001-07:00

Maybe I should sponsor this new theory I've been adapting for other blogs of mine. A 'blank' of the week. Only here I can support my believes and open the eyes of the ignorant (as I myself was) to this problem we are facing.

Our first illegal will be: Francisco Javier Serrano

The article can be found here.

Synopsis: He came over years ago and in 2002 decided he didn't want to go home. (Who can blame him?) He was staying with his father and apparently had a falling out with him. He came to news when they found him living in a high school foraging for lunch food and showering in the locker room. (Semi-admirable) And others in Minnesota decided to stick up for him and help take care of their adopted Hispanic son. (Again, admirable of the people there trying to help the kid out, showing how we as Americans bend over backwards to help.) A developer gave him a place to live and hired an attorney for him. All in all, he lost and was allowed to stay until June 5th. (again us bending more to allow him to apparently finish his school.) He waved to reporters and smiled for the cameras at the airport right before he left the viewable area and ditched his plane ticket back to Mexico. (Abuse #1) Then later was found in a citizens house holding them at knife point. (Went overboard, send his ass packing after he serves the equivalent time in our jails, if applicable.)

This is a small (no one really got hurt case) I tend to start small and then smack ya with the OMGWTF!?!? cases.

-As usual, it was your pleasure.

-Twisty

An Incredible Idea

2007-04-12T07:38:00.001-07:00

Although I cannot take credit for this one:

M&M Duels

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the
strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M
duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure,
squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the
"loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go
another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the
newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue
M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that
is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier,
or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness,
but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way,
the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of
the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it
neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc.,
Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please
use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2
pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside
the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will
discover the True Champion.

Illegal and pissed.

2007-04-10T08:18:00.001-07:00

Ok, I tried to be nice... I tried to keep my cool... But now (as my good old buddy Neo would say) It is time to Bring it. I have no desire to steal that coined phrase but there is no other way to say what I feel right now, or have been feeling for the last 6 months to a year. I was doing my daily ritual of reading up on the news and came across this article that makes me sick to the core. http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148&sid=1084909

What has to happen before Americans wake the feck up? We are being invaded by people who openly say they will refuse to assimilate and are only here to make US change. I am not talking about aliens from Klingon, Russians, or the Chinese. I am talking not of Mexicans but of illegal aliens of which many due to geographical advantages are Mexican.

I love people of all nationalities, color, and gender. I am not racist nor am I hard to get along with. I am however in love with my country and I see every day that it is beginning to become more and more obvious where our major issue is right now. It is illegals. For those of you that wish to make the comment 'but they are just people who...'... whatever. I will say that a lot of the people who really are planning on coming here to stay and live a better life do not want to spend their lives hiding from the government, its too much work and too stressful. They go the legal channels and they get their rewards. But let me run by you. It is illegal to sell crack, rape women or men, steal a car, set random fires, rob a bank or murder someone. notice all of them are ILLEGAL! Ok, note the first word in the term ILLEGAL ALIEN. Got me? Ok stay with me.

If you are already here illegally and you are already under the radar and you are already 'good' at hiding from the police and society, then obviously breaking the law means nothing to you. So why not break some more? Remember when your parents told you that marijuana was a gateway drug? Start small and you'll find that it seems easier to get away with more? It is human nature.

Ok, I will introduce you to a nice little website called NumbersUSA. This is a site that after getting a login ID and password set up you can (for free) fax your local congressmen, senators, etc with preformed opinions (which you can edit to have say EXACTLY what you want) on illegal issues and bills that are present in the legislature to sign. Stand up for yourselves Americans, you are slowly getting less rights than ILLEGAL aliens.

Another site is http://www.alipac.us/ This site gives lots of good information of all kinds of statistics and wars going on HERE that you never see mentioned on the news because they are too scared to bring it! I challenge each of you to go there and just look at what I see and tell me you're still ok with it. Please put these websites out there for your readers (if you have any) and challenge them. They are all marching in the streets screaming revolution and that they promise to take our country over... Yes they are literally doing that, they have the GALL!

Statistically I read about DUI's that leave an innocent person dead or hit and runs and fights and the list goes on. The ones that are mentioned guess what? They all are Latino. That doesn't make them all criminals, shit happens and there are tons of people who are here legally and have my total respect but they ALL cant be legal? And if they are.... why do they flee the scene of the accident and back to Mexico to avoid prosecution? IS THERE ANYONE ELSE OUT THERE THAT CARES? Here is an example from national news.

I've got to stop for now or my head will explode.

Sorry to steal your phrase Neo but I just had to bring it so to speak... and it doesn't even fit your 'cool as a cucumber' style.

2007-03-27T10:27:00.000-07:00

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has cheated him out of ten million bucks.

The bookkeeper is deaf, which was the reason he got the job in the first place.
It was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not hear anything that he might have to testify about in court.

When the Godfather goes to confront the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language.

The Godfather tells the lawyer “Ask him where the 10 million bucks he embezzled from me is.”
The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper.

The bookkeeper signs back: “I don't know what you are talking about.'

The attorney tells the Godfather, “He says he doesn't know what you're talking about.'
The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to the bookkeeper's temple and says, “Ask him again!'

The attorney signs to the bookkeeper: 'He'll kill you if you don't tell him!'
The bookkeeper signs back: 'OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens!'

The Godfather asks the attorney: 'Well, what'd he say?'
The attorney replies,

'He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger.'

Against My Own Odds

2007-03-22T08:14:00.000-07:00

You know... Last November some of you may remember reading about my first time going out and playing golf. I am one of those persons that always considered myself too 'rednecky' or young and hip to get into it. Well that said, I have to admit that even in high school I had several friends that were all about golf and they were 'down and hip'.

Well I've officially played golf uh... lets see... 5 times now. Been to the driving range twice and can honestly say that I find myself thinking about it constantly. It is incredibly fun! I could have never imagined that it would even interest me in the slightest. My score is increasing (decreasing) every time.

The first 2 times I went out we played superball (using best ball of the 4 and playing from there) its geared more for fun and team play so I am not sure exactly where I was to begin with. The last 3 times I kept a legitimate score they turned out 133, 125, 117. I've knocked 8 strokes off a game each time. I do stay pretty hard on myself each time and don't take too many gimme's even though people tell me to. I know that if I play the same way each time (rules) and stay pretty strict with myself I can see my improvements better than not remembering how many "gimme's" I took.

After I got my tax returns back I went out and purchased a set of clubs. They are cheap'o's but known brand and get the job done. $170'ish for a complete set and bag is great considering I have friends spending $300 for 1 club. I am dying to get back out there, this week and last are difficult for me since the weather has been so tropical.... Eeeegads!

Feeling Sentimental

2007-03-21T05:33:00.000-07:00

Some time ago, a man punished his 3-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight, and he became infuriated when the child tried to decorate a box. Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift to her father the next morning and said, "This is for you daddy." He was embarrassed by his earlier overreaction, but his anger flared again when he found that the box was empty. He exclaimed, "Don't you know that when you give someone a present, there's supposed to be something inside it?"

The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, "Oh, Daddy, it's not empty. I blew kisses into the box. All for you, Daddy." The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little girl and he begged her forgiveness.

The man kept that gold box by his bed for years. Whenever he was discouraged, he would take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there.

I thought this was a touching story, and wanted to share it with you all. It's a good reminder that we should not be so quick to think the worst of things. Although, due to our imperfection, it is human nature to think the worst; often times things are said or done with good intentions, and with the right motive. So let us be slow to anger, and quick to forgive.

Holy Bat Shikkakah Batman!

2007-03-19T12:57:00.000-07:00

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night, face all covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.

Pretty soon all the other bats smelt the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to piss off and let him get some sleep, but they persisted until he finally gave in.

OK, follow me, he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a huge forest. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him tongues hanging out for blood.

"Do you see that large oak tree over there?" he asked. "YES, YES, YES!!!!"
the bats all screamed in a frenzy. "Good!" said the first bat, "Because I fucking didn't"

Smashing Baby!

2007-03-19T07:08:00.000-07:00

Well I've kept busy again. It's that time of year when people feel obligated to drag friends and family to weddings and we as friends and family feel obligated to go. I've already got 3 weddings in my date book and at least one of them is over. Unfortunately that was the only one I was looking forward to so now there isn't anything to look forward to now.

This first one was for a friend here at work and I have absolutely zero job description, requirements or obligations once at the wedding so for the first time in forever I don't feel all annoyed going. I enjoyed myself and got to relax and enjoy the wedding. I would have to say the only wedding aside from this that I remember having a good time was another friend of mines two years ago. It was SMASHING baby! Here are a few pictures of yours truly afterwards.

Ok, enough about me! Well this is all about me right? We had this wedding on Saturday only to drive all the way back to Raleigh from Fayette'nam and try to catch up with some friends before St. Patty's Day was over... We caught up and had a decent time in the last few hours before we retired to the Waffle House for the post alcohol syrup binge. Retired home for the evening to enjoy a good snooze and relaxing Sunday. (Pictures may follow but the camera wasn't mine so I don't have them yet.)

I've got another wedding this coming Saturday with some closer friends but I have a feeling it won't be as smashing as I'd like... not sure why but... I'm sure it won't.

THEN in some time in may my little sister is getting married. I like the guy but there, again, is something uncomfortable about it all. Maybe it is because I will feel even older than I do now. Oh well once all these things are out of the way I can go back to enjoying my own free time and money. Bleh

- Twisty

What The...

2007-03-14T10:59:00.001-07:00

A little boy comes home from school and tells his father, "I got an F in math today."

His father replies, "What happened?"

The boy says, "Well, my teacher asked me, 'What's 3 times 2', and I said 6.'"

The father replies, "Well, that's correct."

The boy says, "I know. Then she asked me, 'What's 2 times 3.'"

The father then replies, "What the fuck is the difference?"

The boys says, "That's what I said!"

Potential and Reality

2007-03-14T09:28:00.001-07:00

A kid comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. "Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?"

His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, "I'll demonstrate. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then come back and tell me what you've learned."

The kid is puzzled, but decides to ask his mother. "Mom, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Robert Redford?"

"Don't tell your father, but yes, I would."

He then goes to his sister's room. "Sis, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?"

She replies, "Omigod! Definitely!"

The kid goes back to his father. "Dad, I think I've figured it out. Potentially, we are sitting on two million bucks, but in reality, we are living with two whores."

How To Make A Woman Happy

2007-03-08T10:26:00.000-08:00

It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:
1. A friend
2. A companion
3. A lover
4. A brother
5. A father
6. A master
7. A chef
8. An electrician
9. A carpenter
10. A plumber
11. A mechanic
12. A decorator
13. A stylist
14. A sexologist
15. A gynecologist
16. A psychologist
17. A pest exterminator
18. A psychiatrist
19. A healer
20. A good listener
21. An organizer
22. A good father
23. Very clean
24. Sympathetic
25. Athletic
26. Warm
27. Attentive
28. Gallant
29. Intelligent
30. Funny
31. Creative
32. Tender
33. Strong
34. Understanding
35. Tolerant
36. Prudent
37. Ambitious
38. Capable
39. Courageous
40. Determined
41. True
42. Dependable
43. Passionate
44. Compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. Give her compliments regularly
46. Love shopping!
47. Be honest
48. Be very rich
49. Not stress her out
50. Not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:!

54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Show up naked
2. Bring food

As usual, it was your pleasure...
-Twisty

Where I've Been

2007-03-07T08:44:00.000-08:00

Sorry everyone (Neo) for the long pause. I've been quite busy at work and real life and between writing on my other gaming blog and keeping up with being a 'staff writer' for WoWChron I've kinda let this place slide. My apologies.

So, this last weekend the wife and I took Thursday and Friday off to take care of a couple things and a post birthday day off since I couldn't get off for my birthday do to work duties. Well, Thursday the wife and I had made an appointment for getting our taxes done and that went a lot better and quicker than I had planned. For the first time in 3 years since buying the house it actually has gotten us a sweet return. I have no idea what the crap has been screwy for the last couple years but either way thank God its better now. The wife having lost her job at the end of the year has left us a bit tight on money and this helped us get semi caught up. Hell I even went out and bought a nice new (cheap) set of golf clubs.

Friday I started the main project we planned on doing over the long weekend which is redoing the bathroom. I spent the day scraping chipping paint, re-mudding and taping areas and then sanding. Then mudding, then sanding... Rinse and repeat.

Saturday I started out my day by lounging around a bit then getting a really short haircut. (long overdue, and shorter than ever before) After the haarschnit I was off to play golf. knocked 8 off of my game. (Considering I've only played a couple times, thats quite nice.)

Sunday I had to hear the panic of the wife realizing the project wasn't a 'magic wand' project and wanting to have her bathroom back by Monday morning. I sped through the rest of the project and had it finished up enough so she had it by Monday. Now I have to go back and touch up several areas before it is totally done but it doesn't look too awful.

Psst, Neo I was able to get to your site again recently but who knows how long that will last. How's that job thing coming along?

As usual I'm worried about my soulmate. Get better honeybunnykittybootybutt.

-Twisty

29 and worried about Jen

2007-02-21T07:51:00.000-08:00

Notice 3 things.

1) All my titles pretty much us capitals to start each new word.....

2) Today I turned 29 for the 1st time. (next year will be 29 for the 2nd.)

3) I am very worried about Jen. She has been AWOL as far as I can see and her last post was very unsettling. Maybe I should call her? Maybe she needs that... Maybe her boyfriend will want to shoot me in the face for calling her? Maybe I will risk it....

...Sigh, still am not able to get to Neo's blog from here..... I try every day but there is something in one of his META tags or title or hell maybe a vulgarity in his text. Not sure how this new firewall scans the data just yet. I wish you all a happy day.

Monday I received word that I am one of the 2 writers for a gaming (WoW) website/podcast that I enjoy. Geeky, yeah I know but hey, although it is a free labor gig I do find it exciting that someone liked my scribble. I personally thank Neo for that. Somehow a year or more ago his writing told me that I needed to get back into writing as had done years prior. I used to LOVE to write. Freestyle writing is something I did through H.S. and through out many of the years after... It pretty much tapered off after I got married... (nothing to do with wife or marriage but time constraint.)

Thanks Neo.

Miss you Soulmate!!!

-Twisty

JFO JBI

2007-02-12T07:16:00.000-08:00

Just Found Out that the new hardware firewall the Network Services guys put in... blocks Just Bring It.

I will have to find more top secret ways to read Neo's fatalle....

-Twisty

Im Sensitive

2007-02-01T11:04:00.000-08:00

To Neo's comment about assuming I had long hair...

About 10 years ago, a year or two before I cut it all off... Just decided to let it go... I miss it at times though.... =(

Thanks for helping me relive those days quickly...

-Twisty

For My 1-3 Fans...

2007-01-26T14:09:00.000-08:00

Ok, over a year to a year and a half ago... in Bahamas.... not the best picture.... don't remember if I've ever even posted a real one... I think I have... Oh well...

As always it was your pleasure...

(psst. this one is for Jen...)

-Twisty

This Is Too True

2007-01-26T12:08:00.000-08:00

Sometimes...

2007-01-26T10:49:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, just when you feel like you're getting somewhere....

I've come so far yet not taken but a step in the last year or more. I think things are good, I think things are bad and I'm severely tired of thinking. I look at friends and they've come a long way.. They havent gotten to a place they want or even to a 'good' place but... God, in the last year I look at what friends like Jen and Neo have gone through and overcome or are working on overcoming now and I feel like I've gone nowhere. They by far are still climbing major mountains in their paths but they arent exactly where they were a year ago.

Or is it because I can only see it from the inside.... From the 10,000 ft. view would it be any different? I work the same job (Thank God, I love it!), and.... well everything else is different but the same.

(trying to keep ahead of Neo's boot.)

-TP

As It Were

2007-01-23T11:13:00.000-08:00

Remember only two defining forces have ever
offered to die for you,

Jesus Christ

and the American Soldier.

One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.

Not So Long..

2007-01-22T14:04:00.000-08:00

So... I was sitting here at my desk when a red light in the room started flashing. I jumped from my chair and spun around thrice. "Something is wrong!" The something 'wrong' wasnt signalled by the red flashing light so much like the ones in the old movies for old police cars. The something wrong WAS the light. I do not own a teardrop beacon! All of a sudden an envelope slides under my door.

"Penguins I think! Ahoy and avast ye slimy beasts, lift ye siege of my imagination!"

Anyways, apparently the letter is from a friend of mine and although it went unsigned I recognized the type font. This is what was left for me....

"Twist - Dude, get off your ass and post a new entry!!!!"

And so here I am, with nothing funny to say, nothing deep to write about, and nothing interesting to lure you with......

Since I've converted over to this new blog and reverted from spilling the deepest parts of my torn life and soul I've kind of run out of things to talk about. I mean I write so much more when I am full of gloom and dispair. Maybe I should convert back to the more anonymous site yet filled with the vile torments of my day to day existence. I mean I want to write... just nothing flows. I write a bit of fun stuff for my WoW blog but its not all that often. I force myself to. Luckily I do not have throngs of fans like some of my cohorts, so I don't let too many down.

I will say that I've kept up with Jen since I've found her and Neo as well. Thank God he decided to come back... I started to feel my artisitic side drying up and withering away without anything to plagiarize... (jk Neo)

I will try to get better... Just dont remove that boot from my ass yet... I still need the kicking to get me fully in gear...

-Twisty

Brokeback Rancher Lady?

2006-12-29T07:16:00.000-08:00

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she placed an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked hard and the ranch was
doing very well.

Then one day, the rancher's widow said "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels."

The hired hand readily agreed and went into town on Saturday night. He returned around 2:30am, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her. "Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said. Trembling, he did as she directed.

"Now take off my boots." He did as she asked, ever so slowly.

"Now take off my socks." He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.

"Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.

"Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.

Then she looked at him and said: "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired!"

- As usual.... it was your pleasure
-Twisty

Bad You!

2006-12-20T07:30:00.000-08:00

zOMG Tagged!!

2006-12-01T10:33:00.000-08:00

Luckily I got nuthin' but love for ya Jen. Do your thing girl.

This is how it works: Each player of this game starts with the "6 weird things about you". In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged. People who get tagged need to write a blog post of their own 6 weird things, as well as state this rule clearly. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says “you are tagged" in their comments.

Here are my six things (it's really hard to limit them to six....):

1. Sometimes I feel like I have an extra toe. I cant really explain but sometimes its by the pinky toe, sometimes its like a thumb toe. Its like phantom pains cept not pain and... uh... well... Wierd enough for ya?

2. I am a book whore. I collect books of anything. I may never read them but in that famous 'pack rat' mentality, I think one day I may need that book of Grey's Anatomy and surgery 101 in case I need to perform a random weekend Tracheotomy on a pet or loved one.

3. I am very picky with food or beverages. Example: Milk even close to the exp. date is 'bad' to me. Bread with anything not the normal color of bread on it. (even if its baked that way, or a normal flaw) is bad. Soda with 1% of its normal carbonation missing is too flat for me to enjoy. It is yucky! 2 liters usually dont work in my household. If it lasts longer than a day or so and too many 'open and close' sessions, I throw it out or it becomes the wife's. These examples could go on for days. The odd thing is... I HATE wasting food!

4. I am obsessive about music. Anyone doing a cover or singing a song better not screw it up, I can here if someone's even a note off or a slight in the pitch. And it can even piss me off. I HATE bad music.

5. I am a southerner at heard and refuse to go north of the Mason Dixon line. I just won't do it! Yet... my favorite NBA Basketball team is the NY Knicks. Dont ask, long story. I generally dont follow NBA anyways. Most pro sports just piss me off with their money hunger and whining.

6. I like "Buckethead". Wierd enough as it is.

Sorry these arent really good but I was put on the spot and cant turn down Jen. More time would give me too many things to list. I have no real friends on here other than a handful and of that handful only Jen has a blog and she's already done this so unfortunately the Tag ends with me here. I officially give Jen my 6 tags to tag others if she wishes.

As usual, it was your pleasure....

-Twisty

To All The Friends Who Want Some of This!?!?!

2006-12-01T08:54:00.000-08:00

Liked It So Much....

2006-11-08T11:37:00.000-08:00

I'm doing it again on Friday.

Wow It Has... Been A While...

2006-11-03T08:36:00.000-08:00

Thank you Jen for pointing that out. So sorry to my 2 or 3 readers. lol Well apparently this weekend I get to be Payne Stewart. For those who dont know that is this guy....

My boss' boss' boss (ie. My SVP) invited me to a freindly and fun and "probably pretty redneck" game of golf on Saturday. He asked me if I played and I said (and I quote) "Never have.", to which he says "Great!". We he is a total fun guy to hang out with so I figure why not? Only problem is I havent even been to the driving range in about 9-10 years. So after work today I'm going with my V.P. (good friend) out to the driving range to at least hit or whiff a few balls so I can at least not look completely helpless. Yeah yeah, I know, I'll get out there and play like a 9 year old girl and considering I wont be getting smashed due to my company... It will probably hurt the ego a bit.

Nothing else really new going on I guess but I'll try my best to get more active on here again.

-TP

A Sad Death In History

2006-10-18T12:30:00.000-07:00

I havent been on here much lately and mostly have been writing for my new WoW related blog however, something drug me out of the slump for one post before I return to my slumber. Death is always worse towards the end of the year. Last year a good friend of mine was KIA in Afghanistan, a month later my grandfather on Thanksgiving day but this year its a little bit different.

I cannot really say that a 'friend' of mine died but something that equals that has been put to rest. There is a link at the bottom of my page that I shall not remove although as of yesterday has become a 'dead link'. A friend in which I would say has made a great impression on me as well as my desire to write in a different way at times has decided to give up his canvas. His canvas being the portal to the world he used to write not only the greatest 'bringing it home' kind of writings but some of the best writing I've ever written in the story form. Just Bring It.

I've read a lot of novels in my days on this earth from which some of the names would be greatly recognizable: Dean Koontz, Stephen King, and Anne Rice are my favorites. Neo would rank up there with these three if I had but a contest to enter all 4 in as well as others I have read. The link will remain at the bottom right of my page forever or for a long while if not for anything else but to serve to my memory and his impression that was left there.

Neo: If you read this brother know that you are missed. But you are not gone so I can only say for sure that your 'work' is missed. Please let me know how to obtain access to your next 'canvas' that you decide to bless the world with. I am here and if you need anything/one then let me know.

Goodnight Mr. Neo,
Goodnight Just Bring It,
Goodnight to all.

-Twisty

Hoorah

2006-10-16T08:19:00.000-07:00

Two Arabs boarded a flight out of London. One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat. Just before takeoff, a Marine sat down in the aisle seat.

After takeoff, the Marine kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, "I need to get up and get a coke."

"Don't get up," said the Marine, "I'm in the aisle seat, I'll get it for you."

As soon as he left, one of the Arabs picked up the Marines shoe and spat in it.

When the Marine returned with the coke, the other Arab said, "That looks good, I'd really like one, too."

Again, the Marine obligingly went to fetch it.

While he was gone the other Arab picked up the Marines other shoe and spat in it.

When the Marine returned, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight. As the plane was landing, the Marine slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. "Why does it have to be this way?" he asked. "How long must this go on? This fighting between our nations? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and pissing in cokes....?"

MARINES WILL ALWAYS WIN.

Headlines From The Year 2029

2006-10-06T07:31:00.000-07:00

HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the AmericanTerritory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq,Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.

-As usual, it was your pleasure.....

-Twisty...

I've Been Out

2006-09-28T06:48:00.000-07:00

Sorry been sick for a couple days, but I have the layout for the new WoW blog semi ready. Here it is. Oh boy remind me to tell you about all the commotion at my house last night!!!!

-TP

WoW, Am I A Geek or What?

2006-09-25T12:50:00.000-07:00

Ok, these days... well for a long while now 90% of my enjoyment out of life comes from my personal time that I use to interact with other individuals online. Mainly being a MMORPG. If you dont know what that means, long of it short, its an online game that allows people from all over the world to interact (real time) as a whole.

You've probably seen me mention the game a couple times and it is.....
World of Warcraft.

Some of you may have played the beginning series of games, Warcraft I,II, and III. WoW is totally different. Well in stead of trying to turn all of you into fellow junkies, I'll stop the explaining. I do however think I will start up a blog just for that.... I wouldnt expect any of you to visit there and more than likely it'll die like every 'other' one of my blogs did within a week....

So with that I'll stop now since the more I type the more I feel this is a mistake....

-TP

Geez

2006-09-25T06:55:00.000-07:00

I am going nuts here. Where in the hell has all my flippin' money gone?!?!?! This is sickening. I can barely afford to eat, yet I drive a nice vehichle, and live in a great house.... This came from nowhere!!!! That is all I can stomach to say right now.

-Twisty

"Twisted Thoughts That Spin"

2006-09-19T11:10:00.000-07:00

"Ooh and all I taught her was everything,
Ooh I know she gave me all that she wore."

-PearlJam

"Won't you look down upon me, Jesus
you've got to help me make a stand.
You've just got to see me through another day.
My body's aching and my time is at hand.
And I wont make it any other way"

-JamesTaylor

A Trip Down Mamm... erm Memory Lane.

2006-09-18T08:32:00.000-07:00

Here is a copy of a post on my last blog. Dated 12/02/05. I may bring historical pieces back as time goes on. The previous blog was my brithplace and my original home to the friends I've made here.

"Actually I will kind of copy a friend of mine's idea to push one golden nugget I was told by my father that I carry with me to this day.

When I was younger my father said to me: "Son, use your blessings for your advantage and be whatever you're good at." - I've been an asshole ever since. =)

As usual it was your pleasure.

-Twisthole"

Tada!!!!

-Twisty

What The (what?)? (Gentle Rant)

2006-09-18T08:03:00.000-07:00

"What the fuck is this world running to?
You didn't leave a message
At least I could have heard your voice one last time "

-PearlJam

Ok, so now I've got this intruder that I catch around my house ever so often. Well more than actually catching him... I catch evidence of this aformentioned intruder. He's probably been around a while and watching the wife and I live our daily lives.... He may know secrets that noone should ever know, and after I saved his life he decides to come back around. I should have known better but I have a soft spot some times. Good thing his near tragedy did not occur on one of my GTH/RIH days. (thats Go To Hell/Rot In Hell for those that didnt catch the acronym.)

This intruder, I'll call him Jerry, seems very laid back. Only coming around when he probably needs something. Never really causing much alarm or disturbance but its what he does in the background that has eventually raised my alarm and frustrations, as well as the wife's to a point that something must be done.

This Jerry is a mooch. He contributes nothing to our family docile yet continues to take from the food we buy and feels free to roam about my house like he has no care in the world! If I could only catch him in the middle of it I would sooo.... grrrr....

Jerry! I'm comin' for you! Get ready because the battle is now officially on!

You see, jerry was trapped once not too long ago. Not long after I got a chance to meet him, very informally. Lets just say he was caught up in a VERY sticky situation but after some tedious work, I helped him out and let him go his way. Of course after escorting him a distance away from the original place of trouble.

Apparently that wasnt good enough because he's back. I tell you people... do something nice for someone and they will come back and use you over and over only to take advantage of your hospitality, generosity, and patience.

Jerry the game must stop. I will be kind but you wont be around much longer, I assure you. One way or the other!!!

-TP

I'm Still Around

2006-09-15T11:31:00.000-07:00

but busy and stuck with lack of inspiration...

Let Me Introduce You....

2006-09-05T13:38:00.000-07:00

to him...

No, he's not a serial killer with a guitar he is a kick ass guitarist with a gimmick that just creeps some out and makes others laugh. He doesnt show his face and I'm not sure anyone knows who he is but he's been around a while. He is ... (wait for it...) ... Buckethead! If you know of him then I'm sure you probably like him. If you havent... Good God man, go find a way to listen to him!

From me to you,
-Twisty

I Think I Have A Problem

2006-09-01T12:33:00.000-07:00

The first stage or step in working through any problem is of course admitting you have said problem. And with that I will say the said problem is money. I make 'decent' money and I spend a lot. Not a big spender or such in blowing it as I get it but more like a background debt growth that kind of grabs you by the balls when its too late. I've got to get a hold of this thing. I've got too many of the Devil Cards and a couple consolidation loans I need to pay off. Geez I look screwed forever.

I've recently taken over this part of the finances from the wife who generally handled all of that stuff. God, if I had only seen this years ago there would have been some tire marks from me slamming on the breaks. Geez I need a debt recovery program... I need to write out a budget.

Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Eeeee-Gads!

-Twisty

Don't Forget The Fine Print

2006-09-01T06:49:00.000-07:00

Sounds great until then.... (click to make larger if needed)

It Has Been A Long Time Hasn't It?

2006-08-28T10:59:00.000-07:00

Ok, I’m back… from outer space… I’ve spent the last two weeks doing an ‘engagement’ with our Symantec Vendor that has required a lot of hours from my days and some nights so that’s my excuse for the absence of ‘Twisty’. I’ve missed all of you… (all 3 of you) and I am back. I promise to get caught up on your sites as soon as possible. Not a lot has happened in the last couple weeks other than currently a friend of mine has flown in from Minnesota to visit.

I still have no working lawnmower/weed whacker (see previous post) so the yard is slowly going to shit. I’ve yet to talk to my father (I spent the weekend 2 weeks ago trying to call him or my step mother) and I think I give up. There are no hidden stories or aggressions between us other than I think he forgot I exist. He is about the hardest person in the world to reach. I think I have a better chance to get in touch with the P.O.T.U.S.

I have still remembered to check Jen’s site every Thursday… well just because I couldn’t stand to miss her HNT but other than looking at the pictures and drooling I’ve not had time to actually read anything. (Sounds like she’s in the same category as most men’s Playboys now.)

Don’t really know what to put on here other than all of that but I’m sure I’ll think of something about the time I click the ‘post’ button.

-Twisty

miss me?

Insert Smile Here (regardless of your real feelings)

2006-08-11T07:27:00.000-07:00

Ok, I know I havent been here all week. I have a great excuse I really do! Ok, I don't. My life hasnt been any worse than its been in the previous months that I did post during so no excuse. I did have a really bad day on Wednesday but I handled it exceptionally well considering.

I left work only to find something catching my eye in my back yard as I drove past. It was my gas can. Bright red sitting there outside my storage closet door mocking me with it's bright 'reddery-ness'. "Well damn, the roomate left the storage door open after mowing the lawn." I circle around also fearing worse. I mosey back there to find that my $270 lawnmower and $130 weed 'whacker' missing. My blower that someone had given me (not working condition yet) AND my brand new (never been used) Skil' saw also missing. "Stupid #%$&*#$S!" I rolled my eyes and headed on in to work. Nothing I could do at that moment. Called the police when I got home and filed the report. Nothing has turned up at the local pawn shop yet.

Spoke to a detective this morning who had thought he found something but turns out it wasnt mine. I hate people that break into and/or steal shit from others because the sorry MF are too lazy to work for their own shit. I dont hope they get caught. I hope they lose a hand or foot to the lawnmower, THEN bleed out a slow death. I wish no lighter than that. I dont care if they are 13 or 30, I'm sick of this kind of BS.

But again, I handled it well on the outside. I smiled and carried on my day and up until now, only getting progressively more pissed because my yard is starting to look like a jungle. Idiots!

My long lost family...

Have you seen me? Call my fasha!

-Sigh

-Twisty

Remember Me?

2006-08-03T08:26:00.000-07:00

Remember this guy? Icon of the 80's and devil without a cause?

This is how I feel today. Long night and it is just making me evil. Can I be evil today? The end is nigh folks and I feel the shudder of resentment from all I come into contact with. I feel a disturbance in the force....

-Twisty

Purina Diet

2006-08-02T11:29:00.000-07:00

I have a Beagle and a "Wiener" dog and I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

-As usual... it was your pleasure
-TwistedSmartAss

Meetings Bore Me

2006-08-02T11:18:00.000-07:00

Ok, I was in a meeting from about 0900 yesterday until about 1730. Here are a few of my scribbled thoughts... while in the meeting:

"I sit in a meeting (yes at this very monent!) and I am wishing I had a dental or proctology appointment to go to. I am here as a technical advisor and these women will not let it (the discussion) move from the political side to my side so basically I am hearing over and over again about how our branch tellers "have too many things to do or how they wont do it right."

"Arun" the tech advisor from the vendor (bless his heart) is patiently putting up with these women.. (mental note:) he must be married. I am fighting my boredom by trying to keep a straight face every time he says "MICR" which in the banking world is pronounced as "micker". Know that "Arun" has a thick Indian accent. It's just too funny. Good guy though. His partner keeps shutting him down too.

Been here since 0900, it is now 1520 and I "THINK" we are about to finally get technical....."

There ya go, a day in the life of me well part of a day after I'd reached the point of going into the whole /wrist thing.

-Twisty

Same Ole Situation

2006-07-31T10:10:00.000-07:00

"It's the same ol', same ol' situation
It's the same ol', same ol' ball and chain"

MotleyCrue

Today my back is friggen killing me. Got one of them there 'cricks' below the shoulder blade that hurts when I do little things like turn the steering wheel a certain way or even breathe too heavily. Gotta get back into shape this desk job is killing me physically.

"Backed up" a few DVDs this weekend. All the ones I've done so far on DVD+R have only worked in my RCA 5 disk changer (about 5+ years old) but wont play in my XBox. The DVD+Rs that my friends have made for me work in XBox but not in changer. I guess its good that it works in a normal DVD player but heres my problem. That DVD player is in the bedroom. The 57" HD Widescreen is in the living room feeding off of the XBox. (XBox has the HD connector) and I dont want to go buy more. Gotta sort that out. Also some of the ones will need dual layered DVDs and thats gonna get pricy. I bought a spool of 100 DVD+R single layers thinking I'd get most done with them but noooooooooo. So the images (ISOs) that I've ripped to computer are eating away at my hard drive space until I find media to burn them on.... Sigh.

I could rant more but I'll take a small commercial break.

-Twisty

For One

2006-07-31T08:51:00.000-07:00

For those that have read my entries here and at the old site/s you also know that I lost a friend. I lost him to some fuck in the middle east with a sniper rifle when ambushing my friends squad. He died so that EVERY one of his soldiers could live. It was a last second shot by the BGs (bad guys) that took him when he looked over the ledge to verify safety for his men. I recieved this letter in an email today. A chain, I've excluded the chain part but towards the end I swelled up with pride and near tears (yeah I get that way about certain things) and decided to forward it on. I will also post it here (chainless) feel free to use it.

I am sorry for it being so long but... please read if/when you get a chance.

"I was sitting alone in one of those loud, casual steak houses that you find all over the country.
You know the type--a bucket of peanuts on every table, shells littering the floor, and a bunch of perky college kids racing around with long neck beers and sizzling platters. Taking a sip of my iced tea, I studied the crowd over the rim of my glass. My gaze lingered on a group enjoying their meal.

They wore no uniform to identify their branch of service, but they were definitely "military:" clean shaven, cropped haircut, and that "squared away" look that comes with pride. Smiling sadly, I glanced across my table to the empty seat where my husband usually sat.

It had only been a few months since we sat in this very booth, talking about his upcoming deployment to the Middle East. That was when he made me promise to get a sitter for the kids, come back to this restaurant once a month and treat myself to a nice steak. In turn he would treasure the thought of me being here, thinking about him until he returned home I fingered the little flag pin I constantly wear and wondered where he was at this very moment. Was he safe and warm? Was his cold any better? Were my letters getting through to him? As I pondered these thoughts, high pitched female voices from the next booth broke into my thoughts.

"I don't know what Bush is thinking about. Invading Iraq. You'd think that man would learn from his old man's mistakes. Good lord.

What an idiot! I can't believe he is even in office. You do know, he stole the election."

I cut into my steak and tried to ignore them, as they began an endless tirade running down our president. I thought about the last night I spent with my husband, as he prepared to deploy. He had just returned from getting his smallpox and anthrax shots. The image of him standing in our kitchen packing his gas mask still gives me chills. Once again the women's voices invaded my thoughts.

"It is all about oil, you know.

Our soldiers will go in and rape and steal all the oil they can in the name of 'freedom'.

Hmmm! I wonder how many innocent people they'll kill without giving it a thought? It's pure greed, you know."

My chest tightened as I stared at my wedding ring. I could still see how handsome my husband looked in his "mess dress" the day he slipped it on my finger. I wondered what he was wearing now. Probably his desert uniform, affectionately dubbed "coffee stains" with a heavy bulletproof vest over it.

"You know, we should just leave Iraq alone. I don't think they are hiding any weapons.

In fact, I bet it's all a big act just to increase the president's popularity.

That's all it is, padding the military budget at the expense of our social security and education.

And, you know what else?

We're just asking for another 9-11. I can't say when it happens again that we didn't deserve it."

Their words brought to mind the war protesters I had watched gathering outside our base.

Did no one appreciate the sacrifice of brave men and women, who leave their homes and family to ensure our freedom?

Do they even know what "freedom" is? I glanced at the table where the young men were sitting, and saw their courageous faces change. They had stopped eating and looked at each other dejectedly, listening to the women talking.

"Well, I, for one, think it's just deplorable to invade Iraq, and I am certainly sick of our tax dollars going to train professional baby-killers we call a military."

Professional baby-killers? I thought about what a wonderful father my husband is, and of how long it would be before he would see our children again.

That's it! Indignation rose up inside me. Normally reserved, pride in my husband gave me a brassy boldness I never realized I had. Tonight one voice will answer on behalf of our military, and let her pride in our troops be known. Sliding out of my booth, I walked around to the adjoining booth and placed my hands flat on their table. Lowering myself to eye level with them, smilingly said, "I couldn't help overhearing your conversation. You see, I'm sitting here trying to enjoy my dinner alone. And, do you know why? Because my husband, whom I love with all my heart, is halfway around the world defending your right to say rotten things about him." "Yes, you have the right to your opinion, and what you think is none of my business.

However, what you say in public is something else, and I will not sit by and listen to you ridicule MY country, MY president, MY husband, and all the other fine American men and women who put their lives on the line, just so you can have the "freedom" to complain. Freedom is an expensive commodity, ladies.

Don't let your actions cheapen it."

I must have been louder than I meant to be, because the manager came over to inquire if everything was all right.

"Yes, thank you," I replied.

Then, turning back to the women, I said, "Enjoy the rest of your meal."

As I returned to my booth, applause broke out. I was embarrassed for making a scene, and went back to my half eaten steak.

The women picked up their check and scurried away.

After finishing my meal, and while waiting for my check, the manager returned with a huge apple cobbler ala mode.

"Compliments of those soldiers," he said. He also smiled and said the ladies tried to pay for my dinner, but that another couple had beaten them to it.

When I asked who, the manager said they had already left, but that the gentleman was a veteran, and wanted to take care of the wife of "one of our boys."

With a lump in my throat, I gratefully turned to the soldiers and thanked them for the cobbler.
Grinning from ear to ear, they came over and surrounded the booth.

"We just wanted to thank you, ma'am. You know we can't get into confrontations with civilians, so we appreciate what you did."

As I drove home, for the first time since my husband's deployment, I didn't feel quite so alone.
My heart was filled with the warmth of the other diners who stopped by my table, to relate how they, too, were proud of my husband, and would keep Him in their prayers.

I knew their flags would fly a little higher the next day.

Perhaps they would look for more tangible ways to show their pride in our country, and the military who protect her.

And maybe, just maybe, the two women who were railing against our country, would pause for a minute to appreciate all the freedom America offers, and the price it pays to maintain it's freedom. As for me, I have learned that one voice CAN make a difference. Maybe the next time protesters gather outside the gates of the base where I live, I will proudly stand on the opposite side with a sign of my own.

It will simply say, "Thank You!"

To those who fought for our Nation: Freedom has a flavor the protected will never know."

You dont have to agree with Bush ( I do less and less every day) but you need to support our troops who have no choice but to go there. They decided long ago that they wanted to defend/support our country and just like during 'Nam' America is turning their back on them, not the reason they are there or the administration directly but 'them'. Sigh, it just fucking kills me.

-Twisty