There Are No Do-Overs....

Unless you're playing Milton Bradley's version.... there are no "Do Overs" in the game of life. I'm sure all of us can admit mistakes and failures in their lives but it seems that some people, like myself, become quite good at it. We don't see it or we don't believe it is too late until.... its too late. I've been doing it for years now, in fact, my entire life has been filled with regrets that I didn't catch on to certain hints or things until I'd run a relationship into the ground. You spend a couple years being a useless excuse for a husband only to find out that your wife begrudges you in every way imaginable. You try to get better to slip back into a comfort zone of laziness. You argue, try to get better, last longer in your attempt to fail again, and again, and again. Eventually you become better at it only to find out it is never enough. Never enough, not because they are insatiable but because you'll never catch up to what they've been through and you're never going to be able to give them the break they deserve. You argue. You argue about everything and anything only to have the conversation come back to how lazy and horrible you are as a husband. How miserable they are and that you never are good enough. No matter how much you try you always screw up or 'never do anything'. All in all, it is your fault. You've asked for it, right? You know that no matter what you do, you'll never be able to take back the time and replace it with happy years. You'll never be able to go back and 'take care' of the person that has taken care of you over the years. Things you never realized were done for you begin to be noticed.... when they are not. Taking things for granted is the failure of all human civilization.... I can see it now. Where do you go from here? You're in too deep to not care or walk away easily. You'll never be able to make that person happy. Never. Your arguments can be about anything and will always come back to this one topic. You could break and rebuild the world with your words and fingertips and it will never be enough to take away what you've put the other person through. It will never be enough to satisfy their need to be nurtured in the past. People cannot forget the past. Never. This isn't Nintendo. This isn't Tiger Woods' Golf. If you don't do well the first round, you cannot RESET and start again until you get to the perfect save point. It's real time. It is always going to haunt you. Screw it up and ignore the wrong things in your life and it will haunt you the rest of your days. There will always be that 'What if'. Frankly, I'm tired of 'What if...". If you know you've screwed up for that long and no matter what you say or do now will fix and mend the broken pieces of the other person's emotions and heart then what else is there to do? Watch them suffer? No.... That hurts too much. Taking the blame is step 1 but what about step 2? What other options does one have? ,,..,,..,,.. Powered by ScribeFire.