Brokeback Rancher Lady?

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she placed an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk. He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked hard and the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher's widow said "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels." The hired hand readily agreed and went into town on Saturday night. He returned around 2:30am, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him. She quietly called him over to her. "Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said. Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots." He did as she asked, ever so slowly. "Now take off my socks." He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots. "Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light. "Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor. Then she looked at him and said: "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired!" - As usual.... it was your pleasure -Twisty

Bad You!

zOMG Tagged!!

Luckily I got nuthin' but love for ya Jen. Do your thing girl. This is how it works: Each player of this game starts with the "6 weird things about you". In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged. People who get tagged need to write a blog post of their own 6 weird things, as well as state this rule clearly. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says “you are tagged" in their comments. Here are my six things (it's really hard to limit them to six....): 1. Sometimes I feel like I have an extra toe. I cant really explain but sometimes its by the pinky toe, sometimes its like a thumb toe. Its like phantom pains cept not pain and... uh... well... Wierd enough for ya? 2. I am a book whore. I collect books of anything. I may never read them but in that famous 'pack rat' mentality, I think one day I may need that book of Grey's Anatomy and surgery 101 in case I need to perform a random weekend Tracheotomy on a pet or loved one. 3. I am very picky with food or beverages. Example: Milk even close to the exp. date is 'bad' to me. Bread with anything not the normal color of bread on it. (even if its baked that way, or a normal flaw) is bad. Soda with 1% of its normal carbonation missing is too flat for me to enjoy. It is yucky! 2 liters usually dont work in my household. If it lasts longer than a day or so and too many 'open and close' sessions, I throw it out or it becomes the wife's. These examples could go on for days. The odd thing is... I HATE wasting food! 4. I am obsessive about music. Anyone doing a cover or singing a song better not screw it up, I can here if someone's even a note off or a slight in the pitch. And it can even piss me off. I HATE bad music. 5. I am a southerner at heard and refuse to go north of the Mason Dixon line. I just won't do it! Yet... my favorite NBA Basketball team is the NY Knicks. Dont ask, long story. I generally dont follow NBA anyways. Most pro sports just piss me off with their money hunger and whining. 6. I like "Buckethead". Wierd enough as it is. Sorry these arent really good but I was put on the spot and cant turn down Jen. More time would give me too many things to list. I have no real friends on here other than a handful and of that handful only Jen has a blog and she's already done this so unfortunately the Tag ends with me here. I officially give Jen my 6 tags to tag others if she wishes. As usual, it was your pleasure.... -Twisty

To All The Friends Who Want Some of This!?!?!